Help 4 Kids  

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Who Are The Poor and Where Are They?

I have come to feel the term "the Poor" is dehumanizing because it sets people apart. Whether to draw attention to their plight, or to somehow blame them, we call them "the Poor." Maybe we should call them "Dis - Folks" ... Dis-advantaged, Dis-abled, Dis-heartened, Dis-placed.

There are different opinions of who is poor.  Some think they are poor because they cannot buy a Luxury car and a grand house.  Some are poor because they do make bad choices and have to suffer the consequences. 

The poor-poor have never been empowered to make choices.  They have lived in a  cycle of poverty that has existed for generations.  Their parents and their parents before them lived this way.  This cycle must be broken for the children. That's why empowered people like us needed to step up and help.  They need the opportunity to help themselves and the education to use it.

Many people ask me, "How do you find them? How do you know they are really in need? Like most people in this area, I lived here a long time thinking everyone was like me, doing OK and here to enjoy the beach, nature, the great food, and in general having a good life. I have changed. I have found that through reaching out and helping people, especially children, I have a wonderful life. If you want to know real joy, connect with a child who has barely the basics that most of us take for granted.

Regardless of what you have heard, the poor don't sit around waiting for a hand out. Most of the people we help do not come to us. We find them.  We've met many people by accident and then found that -they were on the brink of disaster, if we hadn't come along that day they had no hope of what to do tomorrow. We help them until they can do better and then go on to someone else.

I know that not everyone can spend time like we do helping people every day.  It just happens to be our calling in life; something we consider a privilege.  Yes, I consider it an honor to come into people's lives, and be allowed to help them in ways to make their lives better. The point is that children are our future and what we do to help them today as a society will decide what kinds of adults run our society tomorrow.

Nineteen years ago, intending to do a "little volunteer work" we found a whole different world than what you see in your neighborhoods. People existed without bathrooms or running water, holes in roofs and floors, people so poor they existed from day to day without hope of tomorrow. Up to then I assumed this kind of poverty did not exist in our snug little world where we were so comfortable. Over time, we have developed an approach that is unique in that we are a mobile operation. Our clients qualify by having a need that they cannot fill themselves, and which we see by visiting their homes.

At first we were just putting band aids on the wounds of the poor, but had good intentions, to help the poor you have to, as the electronic games say, "zone in on them:' The poor won't be at your church service, they won't be at your committee meetings, they won't even be at the supermarket you shop at, so, how con you find them? REACH OUT! Look them in the eye and see what's in their soul not how they are dressed. You might be surprised at what you find.

One thing people in general do not seem to grasp is that the people we help do not normally come to us. We seek them out, knowing they need help, develop a way to help without loss to their dignity.

After jumping that hurdle, we made and developed friendships that have grown over the last 19 years and are some of the most meaningful that we have ever experienced. What is there not to see in a child who needs help?  Forget about the many choices his parents made to put him in that situation. Instead, get to know him for the wonderful kid that he is, not based on what you see or hear when you go into his environment. For only then will you see the changes brought about as you help to change his surroundings, his appearance, his outlook on life and see the joy when he begins to realize that he is somebody, he is loved, and he can go anywhere and do anything. That is what helping the poor is about.

Giving food, clothes and other necessities is important. They're important because with a hungry tummy, a ragged appearance, no bed to sleep in and no one with whom to confide about such problems, you cannot convince a child that school is important, much less that college is the best way to get out of such an environment. But change those basics and you have a great start on helping a kid be what he has the potential to be, if he had been born into your family instead of his. Have you ever thought about what would happen if, before birth, children had a choice of having a two parent family, a good loving home, bedtime stories and having Ward and June Cleaver for parents?  How many would choose poverty, abuse and hunger?

For years I got so exasperated with people because I could not get them to plan ahead. I wanted to help them today and have them plan for the next week when I couldn't be there and suddenly it dawned on me that some can only deal with today. Tomorrow is so frightening. I have to tell you, after that I was much more successful in helping. The poor will always be with us, which means that children will always need us, we can jump in as empowered people and help them or we can stand on the sidelines and watch them float away.

The "undeserving poor" seem to be the biggest problem for ~a lot of people in deciding if they will help. "They have made bad choices or no choice at ell."  "They have been helped before and it did not change anything."  "They expect us to bail them out and never say thanks:'  Everyone has a story about someone like that. It is unfortunate, but truly poor children cannot be blamed for this. If you expend a lot of time helping, you might get taken at one time or another. But it's a lot like forgiveness; we are supposed to __ forgive seventy x seven. If we then get stepped on, do we take forgiveness out of our lives? If a good deed goes without reward, don't let it keep you from knowing that there are innocent children who truly need your help.

The "Teach a Man to Fish" story I understand, but I don't get the part about not feeding him if he is hungry. If he lives 30 miles from any place to fish and has no car, do I punish him and not feed him until he figures how to get to those fish and catch them? What if he is ill or disabled? Do I throw him in if he can't fish?

Think about something you have been putting off for a long time, such as cleaning the gutters, or garage. It's a mess, but someday you are going to tackle it. That's the way many of the poor see their lives. For instance, you work at a minimum wage job making barely enough to get by. You keep the rent and the utilities paid. But every time you save a little, a doctor bill (You have no health insurance) or something else comes along. Your car breaks down and without the car you cannot go to work. If you don't go to work, you lose your job and wages. There is not a living soul on earth you know that has the money to lend for the bill. This is despair. I see this happen all too frequently among the poor. Now you can go ahead and clean the gutters or hire someone to do it. But, this poor person, even if eventually they get the car fixed, has to start over with the bills and emergencies, and their "gutters are still a mess. Twenty Four hours a day they know their lives are in a mess and they know they can probably never change the way they live, short of a miracle.

Yet most of them actually cope with it, they accept the challenge of whatever comes to pass and face up to it. I'm not sure I could in the same situation. They are operating on survival instinct, it's the only way they can continue the day to day living.

If you commit yourself to helping people, you cannot worry if they deserve it or not. Why bother, if you are to be the judge? No-good deed goes unrewarded, so if you see people in need, help and go on. Don't worry that they may use your help unwisely. Just be thankful that you cared enough to do it. Have you ever wondered why God gave some of us more than others?

Could it be that he wanted us to share our good fortune with the less .fortunate? I love the expression "you can't take it with you" Give away anything you do not need and don't worry if 'the person who received it really deserved it, just be happy you are rid of something you did not need anyway.

Realistically I know that we can't be everything for everybody. We can simply help one child at a time have a better life.